


Overwatch Drabbles

by space_trashlord



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Drabbles, F/F, Frequently about my gay babies and their friends, Hanzo and Gabe are best friends tm because reasons, M/M, More tags to be added, Multi, Overwatch Drabbles, Plz talk to me about Overwatch, Reaper and Widowmaker are both part of Overwatch and v gay, SO GAY, They are both sassy and sarcastic af plz understand, This is basically the Overwatch game except everyone is together and Talon is the enemy, Ultimate Dad and Okayest Dad are pretty great, Will be updated infrequently
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-08
Updated: 2016-09-08
Packaged: 2018-08-07 10:39:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7711798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/space_trashlord/pseuds/space_trashlord
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a bunch of Overwatch Drabbles featuring our favourite Overwatch characters. Feel free to send me more ideas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Two Dudes Being Guys, Two Guys Being Dudes, Two Gays Being Dads.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, this is just a bunch of drabbles, short stories, one shots. I'll try and keep everything orderly and easy for you to keep an eye on. 
> 
> Just for sake of where this is in the Overwatch Universe, basically after recall everyone comes back, Reaper and Widowmaker are saved from Talon, the Overwatch game stuff is basically the missions in this, except it's more just swarms of Talon are trying to murder them. The actual matches are training sessions that are broadcast around the world to show the world just how powerful they are and how they can help, alongside the missions. They're tryna do good here, governments, plz let them do that.

Gabriel hissed, feeling his face sear and reshape as it dealt with the cuts and scrapes he'd gained from the fight. Talon really wasn't letting up this time.

His mask had long since been destroyed, contributing to some of the injuries on his face, a few shards sticking to his cheeks and generally not helping with healing. Why did he take the hardened ceramic one this time?

"Tactical Visor Activa-" Jack was cut off with a yell, a Talon agent armed with a shotgun shooting directly at his head. Well, there went his visor too.

A quick teleport behind the offender, and Gabriel's own shotgun to the back of the little shit's head removed the threat to Jack.

"Well shit." Jack grunted as they both fell back. They had to get the gauntlet from Talon.

"You can say that again." Gabe grunted.

"Where's Mercy?" Jack fired a Helix Rocket at another enemy.

"Not a clue. Last I checked, Hanzo and Pharah were down for the count. I think she's dealing with them and having Genji watch over."

"Should have brought Reinhardt." Jack muttered.

"That's what I said." Gabe huffed. "Be right back, rearranging their faces."

Teleporting over to above the stair case near the point, Gabe sneaked through the building and onto the ledge above the first objective, jumping down into the centre of the enemy group.

"Hello boys. Death's here."

And securing the point was as easy as spinning around and shooting.

"Well, that was overly dramatic." Jack huffed, walking over to the transport to hot-wire it into going.

"Shut up, Morrison, you ugly boy scout."

The transport made a  _DING_ and came to life, lights turning blue, engine turning on to facilitate movement.

Jack smirked. "Boy scouts didn't teach me how to suck-" 

"No I did." Gabriel rolled his eyes, turning to see Hanzo and Genji running over to them.

"How you doing, Handsoap?" Gabe grinned, raising an eyebrow.

"I am better now." Hanzo scowled. "Fuck-boy."

Hanzo almost stumbled over the words, testing them out. Genji subtly raised a thumb to show support.

Gabe scoffed, moving towards his so-called best friend as the payload began to push forward.

Reaching Hanzo, he tugged the ribbon in the man's hair, pulling Hanzo's head down as far as he could as he passed. He barely dodged Hanzo's bow flicking out in retribution.

"All right children, enough. You can mess around later. Hanzo, I want you to stay on top of the payload and snipe anything you see that isn't ours. Genji run on ahead and keep us posted. On that note, where's Pharah-"

As though summoned, Pharah dropped in from above, Mercy landing daintily beside her.

"Support has arrived."

"Good. Keep close. Pharah, stick to the skies and try and keep the attention off of Hanzo." Jack pointed to the bowman standing atop the payload.

The route was extraordinarily quiet, Genji noting so as they reached a series of shops.

"I believe we are about to trap the spring." Hanzo murmured, pulling out one of his remaining sonic arrows.

"Spring the trap, Hanzo, and I agree." Jack checked his gun, glancing to see Gabriel drop and pull another set of shotguns from his coat.

"Damn that cowman." Hanzo grumbled, firing at the most likely hiding spot. Immediately the huds on everyone's contact lenses showed bodies of red, Talon agents trying to get the drop on them. A scatter arrow quickly followed, downing several of the red silhouettes, but alerting the enemy to the trap backfiring.

Pharah's rockets came firing down at doors, strategically being shot to prevent any of the enemy from leaving their hiding spots and truly get the drop on them. Genji dropped in from a ledge, sword swinging to deflect oncoming fire.

"Talon really want this gauntlet." Gabriel muttered, shooting another Talon agent that approached them. "They also have really shit shotguns."

"At least they respect their weapons." Hanzo called, arrows finding their marks in people's heads.

"Seconded." Jack smirked, taking out another three Talon.

"I third my brother's statement." Genji zipped across the battlefield.

"Agreed."

"I would prefer not to make a comment." 

"Fuck all of you." Gabriel grumbled, teleporting up on top of the ledge. "Tell me when a bunch of them need killing, but please die soon."

The Talon petered out, corpses literring the ground. Gabe jumped back down from his position up top, landing next to Hanzo.

"I still don't like this, hermano."

"Neither do I. But we must press on. Talon cannot have the gauntlet."

"What if they want us to have the gauntlet?" Gabe asked, looking thoughtfully at the object.

"Do not do this to me again." Hanzo growled, punching Gabriel's arm lightly.

The payload continued on, slowly reaching the designated pick up point. 

"Winston and the others will be there once we call in." Jack reminded them, dashing out ahead to check the way was clear.

"Still not liking this." Gabriel sing-songed, shifting his stance atop the payload.

"I have a final sonic arrow, if you wish."

"Nah, save it. We probably won't-"

A loud, high pitched noise pierced their ears as soon as the payload reached the checkpoint. With everyone clutching their ears, no one payed mind to the balls rolling to their feet until it was too late, bright flashes taking up their vision and blinding them temporarily.

Gabriel found himself staring up at the sky, silently wondering why he deserved all of this instead of being able to eat food and sleep all day.

"-s why I wear a fucking visor, god damn, can anyone hear anything yet?!" Jack's voice came into focus.

"Fuck my life." Gabriel added helpfully.

"No, I'll fuck you instead, now get up Reyes, we've got shit to do apparently." Jack hauled Gabriel back up, pulling him to the side as bullets riddled the place he'd been seconds prior.

"My vision is still impaired, I do not know if I can shoot." Hanzo grunted, slamming into the wall beside them, bullets landing just above his head.

The sounds of Genji and Pharah already fighting off the surprise attack alerted them to the other two being fine.

"Where's Zeigler?"

"She's with me." Pharah answered, rocket jumping up above the enemy. "Justice rains from above!"

The agents fell quickly, but more assumed their position and began firing at their new target. Genji used the sudden distraction to flit back into the fray, summoning his own dragon to assist him.

"How are you doing with that dragon of yours?" Jack turned to Hanzo.

"Ask it yourself." he grinned, rushing out of his place to fire a scatter arrow at the enemy. Jack and Gabriel helped lay suppressive fire with Pharah, allowing Hanzo to get into position and attack with his own ability.

As the dragons rushed past and downed the largest group, they quickly picked off the rest, Hanzo having to resort to hand to hand combat part way through the last of the fighting.

Jack turned back to find Gabriel on the ground, thighs wrapped around a Talon agent's head, the dying agent desperately trying to remove him. With a sick crack, the man's neck broke, and Gabriel let go, rolling onto his feet and dusting his coat off.

Jack smirked and grabbed Gabriel's chin, leaning in to kiss the other man before being pushed back.

"Stop it Morrison, that's gay." Gabriel wrinkled his nose, eyes glinting with mischief.

"What?" Jack gawked, shaking his head as to try and remove the confusion.

"An you know who's gay?" Gabriel smirked.

"Who?"

"Us." Gabriel attacked quickly, lips reaching the tip of Jack's nose and pulling away before the man had fully registered what happened, Gabriel's wraith form smoking away from him being the only proof he'd been close.

Jack blinked.

"Well, that was mighty cute, if I do say so m'self." McCree chimed in, tilting his hat at Jack.

The cavalry had arrived, and with it, evac.

"You look good without your mask on, Dad." D.Va called, waving from inside her mech.

Jack groaned, hearing Gabriel chuckle from afar.

"Asshole." 


	2. In Which Gabriel Is Revealed To Be Passionate About Vaccinations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabe likes to surf the internet and frequently becomes passionate about different topics. It also means he gets stuck in the deep web and sometimes doesn't leave his room for days, but he is entertained. Sadly, he's always been very passionate about vaccinations.
> 
> Hanzo being sick has only made it worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I regret nothing. Also please blame mrgamblingman on tumblr for this because we talk about our babies and he gives me ideas because he listens to my rambling and inspires me and is an enabler Also check out his art, he does commissions, and is amazing.

The glory of Overwatch was enjoyed by all, both civilian and warriors alike. Although there were loses, the united group of soldiers provided the firepower to prevent all out annihilation from the omnics.

As such, the poster boy Jack Morrison was made. And with it, full coverage of he and his team.

After another grueling fight, successfully won, interviewers and press swarmed him, begging him for answers to their questions.

Gabriel raised an eyebrow in his direction and smirked, grinning when Jack shot him a look for help.

He was alone in this one.

“Morrison, how did Overwatch know this was going to happen?”

“We didn't, we're just organised and spread out enough that we have the opportunities most don't.” Jack tried to smile for the cameras without making it look constipated.

“Jack, how does Overwatch plan to defeat the omnics?”

“We don't. We want there to be peace and order, harmony between our people if we can. Not senseless fighting.”

“Evac’s rolling in, boss.” Jesse called, nodding upwards towards the incomming ship.

“Well, sorry folks but that's all I have time for.” Jack smiled again, waving goodbye as he tried to make a hasty retreat.

“Is there anything else important you want to say?”

Anything Jack was about to say was cut off as he shouted, two boots landing solidly on his chest and kicking him away.

“Vaccinate your fucking children!” Gabriel shouted, shaking his fist at the cameras. “You don't understand the risks you're taking by not vaccinating them!”

Oh God, Gabe had been staying up late surfing the web again and got passionate about it.

Quickly Jack grabbed Gabriel by his hood, pulling the other man back and murmuring agreement and assent.

“You heard the man, vaccinate your kids. Now shut up and get in the ship, Reyes. Jesus Christ.”

Gabriel continued to shout threats and random statistics as to why people should vaccinate their children as the door shut, pouting with a huff as he was sat down forcibly.

“They'd better-”

“Vaccinate their children, yes I know.” Jack said with a sigh, glaring at McCree to shut him up before he sent Gabe on another tangent.

\----

Years passed, Overwatch fell, and with its rebirth came the need to reassure the world that Overwatch was necessary and there for them.

Governments desperately tried to track them down, only to be thwarted.

The press loved every word they could garner.

“Soldier: 76, why is Overwatch coming back now?”

“Well it's still illegal for us to operate, and we have few numbers, but we saw that you needed us now more than ever. I may not fully believe it's going to work, but I'm gonna try my damndest to make it work.”

“Is it true that you're Jack Morrison?”

“I used to say he's dead, still do. But yes, I am.”

“And Reaper is-”

Jack flew backwards, Gabriel’s boots connecting with his chest and shoving him almost effortlessly away.

“For fuck’s sake, I've said it before but I'll say it again: Vaccinate your fucking children! I am Death incarnate, I will feast on the souls of all those who refuse!”

Gabriel wraithed over to Hanzo, pulling the other man into view of the cameras.

Hanzo sniffed pitifully and tried to glare, holding tight to Gabriel as the world spun around him.

“Look! This is what fucking happens when you don't vaccinate! My best friend is sick-”

“I have a cold.” Hanzo mumbled, sniffing again before coughing into his hand.

“-and now he's gonna die because you didn't vaccinate! And then your kids are gonna die! And then I'll kill you for _not_ vaccinating them!” Gabriel grabbed a camera and pulled it to his masked face. “I will consume your souls, and use them to kill everyone you know and love. Vaccinate!”

It took Reinhardt throwing Gabriel over his shoulder, and Ana’s sleep dart gun being pressed menacingly to his neck to get him to go into the ship, McCree grinning at Jack the only warning any of them had to the fact that Gabe would be sent on another tangent.

Hanzo sniffed again, slouching where he stood. He had a bruise on his shoulder from where he fell over the second time.

“Come on, soldier, we've got to go convince the idiot to calm down.” Jack motioned.

“I'd rather walk back.”

“He's your best friend.”

“He's your boyfriend. Husband. Thing.” Hanzo started to cough again.

“Damn you to hell.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plz comment, it gives me life and tells me how you all feel. <3 And feel free to send ideas.


	3. In Which Alcohol Is Had

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Errybody gets crunk. It ends kind of as expected. Except for that Gabe actually got enough for the next night too, but didn't tell anyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry for the lateness. Had like two assignments due at once that I really had to work on. University life, the joys.
> 
> Already have the next chaptet prepared, should be up today. Small one, but a good one.

Jack remembered the original Overwatch days fondly, not because of all the work, but because of the relationships he created. 

Jesse McCree, wide eyed and happy to help, willing to learn anything.

Angela with her soft laugh and quick quips to trade with anyone.

Reinhardt, the gentlest of giants to his friends, booming laughter and genuine joy in all things. A mountain of disaster to his enemies, likely presumed psychopathic due to his joyful nature.

Ana, with little Fareeha, kind and smart, ready to help and always with a knowing grin.

Torbjorn, always able to fix anything, snarky and ready to fight no matter what.

Winston’s love of peanut butter ruined peanut butter for him. The desire to please the genius into giving him better weapons and armour, so that Overwatch High Command didn't yell at him for doing it himself unofficially, almost too strong to resist.

Tracer’s unending happiness and energy, contagious in that you just had to be more like her in order to even keep up with her.

Genji, conflicted, but kind. Genji had been through so much, and Jack watched him grow from boy to man, from confused, hating himself, his brother, his family, to peaceful, loving his brother despite his faults, powerful in his belief that everyone deserved a second chance and the best the can offer and gain from the world.

Gabriel, with his smug fucking smirk. Punching it off didn't work, but kissing him breathless, fucking him into the mattress within an inch of his life, that got rid of it and put a positively gorgeous look on his face, wide eyed, mouth open gasping for air, a red tint to his caramel cheeks.

With the Fall of Overwatch, he lost all that was dear to him.

Then of course,when the Recall began, he found the ones he lost, and more.

They quickly became a large, unorganised, but impressive team, everyone's skills complementing one another in battle, keeping each other safe.

It was sometimes difficult to keep track of everyone due to the size of the group, but they made it work.

How the fuck the world had enough alcohol to get them all drunk, however, Jack had no idea. However, Gabriel Reyes existed to ensure the impossible became possible.

Gabriel strolled in the base, hands in his coat pocket, mask attached to his belt, whistling and grinning away as he made his way over.

Reinhardt stomped in behind him, as daintily as a 7’4” man in Crusader Armour carrying two giant crates could.

Gabriel reached Jack, and grabbed the other man's hands, putting them out in front of him. With a flourish, he reached into his coat and pulled out two bottles of tequila.

“Wha-”

“Shhh. Take the alcohol.” More bottles from the coat.

“Gabe-”

Two more. “Hush, boy scout, do as you were ordered.”

“I'm the boss.”

“You say that.”

When the bottles reached eight, Jack stopped trying to fight.

“I'm not even mad anymore, I just wanna know how you fit them into your coat without it being obvious.”

“Coat pockets for days. Just like the amount of alcohol we have. Except we aren't normal people, so it's probably for like, a night. Still, for days.”

And with that, Jack realised what was in the crates.

\------

Jack was fucking smashed, munted, marinated, slammed and dunked, fucked. Absolutely fucked.

Granted, so was everyone else.

Hana twitched, causing him to glare in her direction. He'd stopped her no less than nine times trying to live stream the event.

She burped, looking rather green as she did so. Kids with no alcohol tolerance.

Lucio was arm wrestling Angela- hang on was he losing?

With a shout, Zarya lifted the victor of the arm wrestle up, Angela drunkenly clutching for life to the powerful Russian woman.

“I could not defeat her if I tried! I will never be as strong as her! She is a goddess!” Zarya smeared kisses sloppily over Angela’s cheek.

Fareeha yelped indignantly, smacking Zarya and demanding she let go of her girlfriend immediately.

Zarya held tight, pulling Fareeha into the hug with her other arm, alternating between the women to smooch them both.

Pharah stopped complaining immediately.

Ana watched on from the upper floor, leaning heavily on an unconscious Winston. As much as he was genetically enhanced, his body wasn't designed for large amounts of alcohol.

Jack was ninety percent certain Winston had never been drunk before. The other ten percent was too busy being drunk.

Torbjorn and Reinhardt stumbled into the room, or rather, Reinhardt with Torbjorn attached to his leg like a kid stumbled into the room.

The two were slurring in German and Swedish, somehow capable of understanding each other perfectly while howling whatever song they were singing. Cats in heat probably made more sense than whatever was coming out of them.

Reinhardt stopped upon seeing Lucio, suddenly shouting with glee random things like “It dat boi!” and “Oh schiesse, waddup?!”. He made no sense when he started spouting ‘memes’.

Ana piped in with some sort of response, jolting Winston awake with her cackle.

“Is he thick?”

Reinhardt laughed. “Not as thick as Gabriel!”

“Oooooh, he still thick though!”

Athena ran a translation to his data pad, suggesting that thick was actually “thicc”, whatever that meant.

Jack shook his head. What else could possibly happen that-

Jesse rolled through the window, shattering the glass and sending it flying as he leapt to his feet, thrusting his arm forward to reveal a rubber ducky.

“Guys! Quick we gotta help the lil fella! He ain't in the tub like he's meant to be, with all his friends!” McCree’s face was red, and suspicious trails of liquid ran down his cheeks.

Oh fuck, he's crying.

Gabriel materialised beside Jesse, arm wrapping around his shoulders.

“Jesse, did you take the rubber ducky from the bathroom?”

“Yeah,” he sniffled. “ ‘ad t’ save it.”

“Did you take it from the tub?” Gabriel sighed, still somehow entirely capable of being serious and “fatherly” despite being thoroughly marinated.

“Yeah, I-” Jesse stopped, mouth opening and closing before his eyes welled up with even more tears. “I took it from the tub. I stole the rubber ducky. I'm a monster.”

Gabriel panicked slightly, trying to keep the other man from becoming more distraught.

“No no, you saved it. It's safe here with us. You can take it back to the tub anytime.”

“I can?” Jesse asked hopefully.

“Yeah, sure can.” Gabriel nodded.

Jesse’s arms flung around Gabriel, crying and murmuring his thanks into Gabriel’s shoulder. Gabriel sighed and petted the other man's back.

For all the shit he gave Jesse, and the amount he pretended to hate it, Gabriel couldn't help but see Jesse like the son he never had. Granted, he was seeing a few of the others as his kids too now, but Jesse would always be the special one.

Jack turned his gaze to Roadhog, desperately reaching for more alcohol but unable to move as he refused to accidentally wake the sleeping Junkrat atop him. Upon realising finally that the effort was futile, his arm dropped, and he huffed.

Jack grabbed what could have possibly been the only unopened bottle and rolled it to Roadhog, smirking as it hit the other man's hand and Roadhog’s head tilted back with a grin of thanks to see Jack.

Hana had grabbed her mech during the various events and had managed to program it to allow herself and Luico to play a holographic form of Dance Dance Revolution. Neither of them had any remaining skill or co-ordination, however they appeared to be having fun.

Or a seizure. Jack couldn't tell.

The lights above them swung awkwardly as Genji yet again flipped from one set of lights to the other, swinging like a demented spider person

“Niiii-chaaaaaaan!” he called, looking around for Hanzo.

That fucking dragon loving fuckstain. When everyone had drank enough to be tipsy, the sly bastard had brought out three bottles of sake with the Shimada emblem on them. Genji had gasped, excitedly asking Hanzo something in Japanese as he tugged his older brother’s sleeve. Hanzo had chuckled and nodded, before warning everyone that the alcohol was “quite strong”.

“Quite strong” in Japanese must have meant “capable of turning someone into a fucking train wreck” in every other language.

Hanzo was also nowhere to be found.

Hopefully dead, the fucker. Jack thought. He'd had far too much of that stuff to drink, and he knew he was going to regret it in the morning.

Jack stood, blinking his eyes to clear his head, and walked over towards where Gabriel had dragged Jesse.

Tracer, Mei, Zenyatta, Bastion, and Symmetra were all in a group, Zenyatta quietly holding Tracer up and using mildly lit orbs to slowly heal the group of their intoxication. Bastion beeped quietly, Ganymede twittering on his finger and hopping from hand to hand in the circle of hands the group had made to be able to touch the bird.

Jack nodded as he passed them.

He saw Gabriel, back turned to him as he spoke to Reinhardt about some crazy battle plan the two of them could likely pull off. Likely Gabriel jumping onto the Rocket Hammer while Reinhardt spins rapidly, Gabriel shooting everything out of reach.

It would probably work, if it didn't kill them first.

Of course, it would require excellent physical strength, of which both of them had in bundles.

It showed too, Reinhardt being 61 and fitter than anyone Jack knew, and Gabe’s ridiculously huge thighs.

Speaking of-

A loud thwack resounded throughout the room, silencing everyone.

Jack's hand hurt.

“Ow.” he mumbled, moving his hand to his chest, away from where it had traitorously smacked Gabe’s firm, round behind.

“Too good for you.” Gabe huffed, cheeks slightly red. “Remind me to put my boot up your ass tomorrow.”

Genji fell to the floor with a thunk, landing directly on his back as gracefully as a newborn giraffe.

“Where is my brother?” Genji slurred, his accent now almost unintelligible due to the alcohol. “I must… Hug him!”

Genji jumped back up off the floor before stopping.

“What happens if I throw up in my mask?” he managed to say, before stumbling towards the nearest bathroom.

“I think we should go get everyone some water.” Jack sighed.

“What the fuck, Morisson, you're drunk as shit but still logical. This is a disgrace.” Gabriel shook his head, grabbing Jack and pulling him towards the kitchen.

As they entered the kitchen, Gabe paused, the door barely open “Don't tell anyone I was about to say the same thing.”

He opened the door, and was greeted to the sight of his best friend nearly in tears.

Hanzo frantically picked up a piece of fruit off the floor, placing it back in front of one of his dragons. He motioned for it to eat, and daintily it took the food from his fingers, only for it to fall through the dragon

Hanzo made a distressed noise, starting the cycle again.

His dragons seemed more distressed by their master’s distress rather than their inability to eat.

Hanzo caught sight of Gabriel, relief painting over his face before worry returned.

“Gabriel, they cannot eat! Why can they not eat?!” Hanzo tried the fruit again.

Various other forms of food, meat, other fruits, -was that ice cream?- were on the floor around him, as though he'd been trying to figure out what they eat.

“Because they eat people, Handsoap.” Gabriel sighed for the umpteenth time. He walked towards the sink and grabbed a glass, filling it and downing the glass for himself.

“You're right. Get the cow man.” Hanzo nodded fiercely.

“Why do you always hate on McCree?”

“He is a pest.” Hanzo petted his dragon, murmuring something about McCree to it. It looked at him and tilted its head, long tongue flicking out to lick his nose.

“You just hate that he teases you the most.”

“Preci- Pre- Yes. That is why he is a pest.”

He sipped politely on the water he was handed, with all the grace he had left in his inebriated state.

Gabe wanted to see Hanzo try and walk. Or wall climb. Or do a flip.

On second thought maybe not a flip. Vomit windmill. Gabe shuddered.

Hanzo’s sharp eyes turned to him, dropping the glass of water and immediately going for the collar of his clothes.

“Do you requ- quire- Are you cold?” Hanzo’s ability to speak was failing. He'd likely start swapping to Japanese soon to compensate.

“Fine. Had a strange thought, bud.” Gabriel picked up the glass, that had landed perfectly on its base with nary a worry or a drop spilt, and glanced at Jack.

Jack had managed to fall asleep against the wall,  and looked seconds from reaching the maximum amount he could be slumped over it before he fell to the floor.

Gabe blinked blarily, yawning moments after Hanzo.

Hanzo mumbled something to his dragons, and stood, rolling his ankles one after the other. The dragons coiled around him, tongues flicking out like little kisses to show their love to their master. With a nod to them, they both faded back into his left arm, disappearing as though they'd never been there.

The kitchen suddenly had much more space.

“Good night.” Hanzo obviously decided the moment was over and strolled towards the outer room, headed for his own room.

Hopefully he didn't still want his dragons to eat Jesse.

Jack jerked awake, blinking awkwardly at Gabriel.

“Bed time?”

“Pfft, old man.” Gabriel mocked, the large yawn that encompassed most of the sentence ruining it.

\----

Everyone tottered into the eating area around the same time, in varying states of existence.

Symmetra and Tracer both looked as though they'd prefer to be brutally murdered, right then and there, over how they felt. Amelie blinked slowly at Jack before looking at Lena and resting her head on the other woman's back, Lena having flopped onto the table.

The omnics were fine, however Genji did not exactly seem well, leaning against Zenyatta and sometimes grabbing his master's shoulder for support.

Zarya came in with Angela and Fareeha, all three of them sporting hickies and lipstick marks.

Reinhardt came in grinning, eyes twinkling with mischief as his voice boomed greetings.

Hanzo strolled in looking perfectly untouched, glaring at Jack as though to dare him to speak of the kitchen incident.

When everyone had arrived and food begun being eaten, everyone started talking.

Hana and Lucio began to look more frustrated.

“Hey! Why is the internet not working? I put a timer on it so it couldn't be turned on or accessed during the party. Because _someone_ didn't want it streamed.” she ended glaring at Jack.

“Oh. I turned it off, I think.” Reinhardt scratched his head. “Or at least, I remember I went to do that. And then I remember throwing Genji at the ceiling, before going to find Torbjorn.”

\--------

Hana cried at the funeral of the internet modem.

The tombstone, a piece of cardboard, read “Here lies the internet modem, crushed too young by Reinhardt’s hammer”.

Jack tried to remember why they had a funeral for it, but abandoned the thought for more alcohol. 

“I'm getting too old for two parties in a row.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I HC that the salty tiddy man and salty edge lord are best friends because those that salt together, stay together. 76 is good budd with Hanzo but I think they'd give each other shit. So Jack wanting Hanzo dead is more him regretting Hanzo being an enabler.
> 
> I'm making Hanzo be an ass to Jesse because I ship them, and also because I think Jesse would be annoying and Hanzo likes getting a rise out of him. Jesse probs goes on tangents before realising Hanzo was teasing him to get that reaction.
> 
> I also think Hanzo would like to scare people with his dragons, and that Jesse has boasted multiple times that he wouldn't be scared.
> 
> Also Hanzo probs wanted to see drunk Jesse being generally drunk.
> 
> Guys, consider: Poly Zarya, Pharah, and Mercy. All being gay together. Symm probs sleeps in bed with them and is loved but not interested in the sex or anything.
> 
> Genji is a spider person, pass it on.
> 
> ANA AND REIN BEING FUCKING MEMELORDS THEY WERE BORN AROUND RIGHT NOW THEY HAVE TO MEME
> 
> THANK YOU FOR READING MY RAMBLINGS, FEEL FREE TO HMU ON TUMBLR, MY MESSAGES ARE OPEN AND I AM READY TO SCREECH ABOUT MY BABIES


	4. Git Gud, Or You'll Get Got

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title says it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MEMELORD REINHARDT STRIKES AGAIN.

They had lost. Three fucking times.

Reinhardt and Bastion had teamed up with Genji, Hanzo, and Mercy, leaving Jack, Gabe, Ana, McCree, Junkrat, and Roadhog to be absolutely mowed down.

They just couldn't get passed the choke point.

And Hanzo’s fucking dragons kept pushing them back every time they were on defence, the little shit hiding behind Reinhardt with a satisfied smirk.

Gabriel attacked viciously, trying to shoot his friend and remove the threat of a sniper. Genji jumped in between them, deflecting his shots, before moving to his brother's side, waiting to see what would happen.

“Need your little brother to save you when you can't shoot your fucking logs at me?” Gabriel taunted.

“No. But I thank him all the same.”

A scatter arrow to the face had him and Jack, who had been in need of help and sneaking up to them, both respawning in their respawn room.

They watched Reinhardt stomp up to their door, waving and shouting “hello” boisterously.

He saw Ana and grinned, slamming his helmet back onto his face. Hanzo and Genji helped the man into a white coat, placing a stethoscope around his neck, and placing something in his hand.

Reinhardt stared at them, and slowly lifted a clipboard up to them, one hand holding it so they could read the words, the other pointing at the clipboard.

It read “Git gud”.

They lost again because Ana was too busy laughing to heal any of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.google.com.au/search?q=git+gud+meme&rlz=1Y3GQQX_enAU646AU649&prmd=ivsn&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjqs_yRlfvOAhUCEpQKHaFwCjUQ_AUIBygB&biw=360&bih=559&dpr=3#imgrc=wu6rL0r77e7P1M%3A
> 
> Like that, but Reinhardt instead.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to give anything you like from me a kudos, and also check out my tumblr at http://space-trashlord.tumblr.com. I've only written some things that are in a different fandom, but feel free to send me stuff about that or Overwatch. I also write reader/character stuff too, so yeah. (Talk to me about my loves Hanzo and Gabriel. Please.)


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